i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Success! We fucked roommates!
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I have post one night stand depression
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
