I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
