I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
