he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
He has the fingertips of a God
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