love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize