Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
