I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
