I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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