I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
