Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Never underestimate the power of titties
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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