how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
