We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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