I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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