its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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