I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Green mimosas i think yes
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize