New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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