should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
