I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
