WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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