THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize