Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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