he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize