I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
