Your face is a jimmy john
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize