I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
