Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I smell like Dick and happiness
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
