no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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