doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize