there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
