i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
