So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
ugly people sure do ruin things
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
