I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
