you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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