the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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