I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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