Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
