The brown eye won't let me do that either.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
