all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
