I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
