So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
