this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Randomize
