Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
