I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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