just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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