I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
