What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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