"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize