Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
