There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
