I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
The feeling are messing with the penis
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm too high and old for this...
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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