i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
