shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
