Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize