lets start a swedish sibling band together
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
