you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
