dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
