it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
