all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
