She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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