dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
