I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
