if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
We have started to decorate penises.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Randomize
