Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
