This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
