i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
